4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he fucked my hip out of place.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
