just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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