thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
