yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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