Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
don't judge my taste in strippers
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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