I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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