Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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