it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
