we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
