Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
