Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
