I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
