dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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