Sry I called you an 8
i think my tv is drunk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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