well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
