just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
