Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
