tell your sister to shave her snatch
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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