My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
