We need to rekindle our bromance
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
