For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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