I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
how drunk are you?
Several
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
