I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
