Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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