its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
