Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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