yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
