So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
