yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
