my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
