My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
