Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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