you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
