Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
