That's intense
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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