Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
