she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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