why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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