I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
