Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
