I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
