Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
