I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
time to smoke my breakfast
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
