Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
