So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
