I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
