i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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