Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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