Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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