i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
