i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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