Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
