Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
