I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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