its not stalking. its research.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
