google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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