when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
