I didn't shave. On purpose
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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