I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
