I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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