In the future we'll all be gay
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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